The blog of a lilium

The one ..  That someone that would be the only one ..how to pick him wisely ? How to choose him among all the others ?  First you have to define your own value and set some standards . Do not settle down until you find him .  Be with someone who loves you even when you can't love yourself .  Be with someone that accepts you as you are _ even when you can't keep your feet on the ground _ because he knows the real you . Be with someone who speaks to your brain and cuddles your spirit .  Be with someone that respects you as an equal partner . Be with someone who would express his feelings towards you instead of playing immature games  _ someone who is brave enough to embrace his vulnerabilities and share It with you. Be with someone who is not ashamed to tell you "I love you " in front of his friends .Choose the one who holds you tight and gives you your space at the same time . Be with someone that would feel proud to introduice you to his mother . Be wi...

استيقظت مبكرا ككل يوم رغم انها لم تذق للنوم طعما .. ظلت تتأمل السقف لبضع دقائق شاردة الذهن ثم قفزت من سريرها بسرعة كأنما ارادت الهروب منه حتى لا يتملكها لبقية اليوم . فتحت النافذة لربما نور الشمس يطغى على العتمة التى امتصت روحها . نظرت الى وجهها في المرآة : لاحظت ظهور أول شعرات بيضاء و خطين من التجاعيد في جبينها ، ابتسمت و شعرت بالفخر ، لطالما انتظرت هذه اللحظة فهذه العلامات على وجهها هي دليل على صمودها رغم مرور الزمن . ثم اعترتها نوبة من الخوف و الحزن عندما لمحت تحت سوارها آثار الجرح العميق في معصميها الذي كلما رأته فكرها في ذلك اليوم الذي قطعت فيه عروقها رغبة في الموت و الهروب من الواقع. شعرت بالخجل ، و بالاحباط ، فالانتحار للجبناء كما كانت تقول ، و لكنها يوم ارادت وضع حد لالمها ادركت ان الانتحار هو نداء استغاثة و امل في ان يكون المجهول اجمل من الحاضر . لقد كانت و لا تزال هذه العلامات تمثل لها خزيا و عارا . حاولت إخفاءها بكل الطرق : لبست ملابس ذات اكمام طويلة و اكثرت من الاساور و الحلي . و لكنها لم تنجح في محو الذكريات من مخيلتها . قال لها طبيبها : لقد كانت ل...

When we met he was younger than me. I don't remember his age. I think he was 27 years old. I was a middle aged woman. I had already celebrated my 35 birthday anniversary. I had a job, a place to call home, a dog and two cats. He insisted on seeing me for reasons I ignore _ like all the men I met in my life_ he just said "There's something about you that I can't put into words and your smile is charming". I have heard those words for millions of times in my life that they no longer seduced me. I always craved some company . I accepted to see him because that day , after work , I needed to drink my usual cup of red wine with someone .. I remember him because he was so pessimistic _ and I have always hated negativity. I found him very young and trying to figure out a meaning to his existence. We were talking about everything and nothing when he said that the human race was a victim. I asked him " A victim of what? Of whom? " . He looked down at his...